Stop Giving Advice to People Who Won’t Change

Words I like: “Well done is better than well said.” — Benjamin Franklin

Pablo’s Perspective:

There’s a famous saying:

“You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.”

It’s a “cool” quote but let’s actually break this down for real.

This line goes way way back….

The first version showed up in the year 1175 in an English book called Old English Homilies. 

People have been saying this for almost a thousand years because it’s still true today.

And if it made it into 2026 I think we should listen…

Here’s why:

It doesn’t matter how many times you tell someone what they should do.
At the end of the day, people only do what feels right to them, not you.

And here’s the kicker -

Most people don’t actually want advice. They want confirmation.

Psychology research calls this confirmation bias:

People look for information that justifies what they already planned on doing.

So they ask your opinion… waste your time… and then go do the exact thing they were going to do anyway.

Because it wasn’t guidance they wanted it was straight validation.

The Real Lesson

The only real way to influence people is to lead by example.

Kids don’t “listen.”

Kids copy.

Same with adults — they’re just taller kids with bills.

That’s why the old quote,
“Don’t do as I do, do as I say,”
is basically the anthem of hypocrites. People follow behavior, not instructions.

Then we’ve got two other types of people:

1. The Venters

They talk about their problems because it makes them feel better.
Neuroscience shows that venting activates the same brain regions as problem-solving
so it feels like progress even though nothing actually changes.

You get the emotional release…
but none of the action.

2. The Talkers

These people love talking about what they’re “going to do.”

The problem?

Talking about your goals releases dopamine — the same feel-good chemical you get when you actually achieve something.

So the brain gets finessed…
You feel the reward before doing any work.
Then when it's time to actually take action, the task feels boring and mundane because the excitement already got spent on the talking.

This is why “big dreamers” often take the least action.

So here’s where I’m at now:

I’m done giving people advice while my own life has unfinished work..

I refuse to talk more than I act.

I’m focusing on fixing my health, my wealth, and my relationships first.
Because the best advice isn’t spoken…

It’s lived.

So to wrap this up I’m choosing to lead by example and not by opinion.

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Did you know? 💡 

The ancient Spartans banned bragging because they believed talking about your goals weakened your discipline. You had to prove everything through action, not words.

-Pablo